The Kiss of Death

First my hubby's machine last week. Now my brand new birthday screamer machine. "Catastrophic hard-drive failure."

I'm so bummed. All the stuff I'd had on his machine that I thought "It's okay, I backed it up to my machine!" All my photos from the last three months that I had finally deleted off the SD cards because I convinced myself that I was being a paranoid freak and there was no reason to keep the stuff on the cards when I had it all on my hard drive. My almost finished tax return. My client files.

Gone. All gone.
Sob.

A new drive is on the way. A new empty drive. Full of nothing but potential, temptation, and the reminder that I have a lot of work ahead of me.
Whimper.

At least I can bring this old laptop under the covers with me when I'm sulking.

tasty, too

tasty, too
Originally uploaded by Somebody's Mom.

Looking for a new friend?

This guy seems pretty friendly. I had a few of my friends translate some of his stuff for me.

Auch die Gartenarbeit muß gemacht werden und bei einem großen Rasen ist ein Rasentraktor sehr praktisch!

Garden work must be done, too, and when you have a big lawn, a lawn tractor is very handy!

Bei der schweren Arbeit wird es so heiß das ich mich einfach ausziehen muß!!!

It gets so hot doing all that hard work that I simply HAVE to undress!
The original string tangas

Here, he says this:

If you think I'm sexy, and you want my body . . .

Ich heiße Emil und komme vom schönen Bodensee!
My name is Emil and I come from the beautiful Bodensee! (a very nice lake in west Germany)


Jetzt fragt ihr euch sicher wie man überhaupt auf die Idee kommt so etwas zu machen. Mein Motto anderst sein als andere! Ich bin von Haus aus exhibitionistisch veranlagt und ich finde es einfach geil, sexy Unterwäsche zu tragen und mich dabei fotografieren zu lassen oder in der Öffentlichkeit nackt zu sein. Außerdem macht es mich total scharf, Männer und Frauen mit meinen heißen Outfits geil zu machen. Die meisten Männer regen sich auf wenn ihre Frauen begeistert sind so ist unsere Gesellschaft eben!!

Now I'm sure you are asking how anyone gets the idea to do such a thing. My Motto is to be differnt than others! I have by nature exibitionist tendencies and find it absolutely (now here, my translator friend says, "Geil can mean horny or cool - it is an everyday word nowadays here - I think in this case - it means BOTH!"), to wear sexy underwear and be photographed - or to be naked in public. In addition, it makes me totally hot to make men and women horny wearing my hot outfits. Most men get excited when their women are excited - so it is something for the community!


Die letzte Zeit bekomme ich sehr viele Angebote von Männern nun muß ich alle endtäuschen ich bin nicht Schwul und stehe nur auf Frauen Sorry schauen dürft Ihr gerne aber mehr nicht!!!

Lately I've gotten a lot of offers from men - now I must disappoint you all - I'm not gay and am only interested in women - Sorry - look all you want but you won't get anything more!

Now the toughest part -- Bikerfox or Emil? Bikerfox, or Emil...

I mean, really...

... who in their right mind would ask somebody who has never used electric clippers to give them a haircut on a Sunday night? Sunday night. The next day is not only a workday, but Monday is the day all the good barbers are closed to recover from being on their feet Tuesday through Saturday.

So don't ask ME why my husband looks like he joined the military. He TOLD me "I want it just like The Goob's." The Goob is our son. He just got his first crew cut. He, of course, at the wise old age of five, had the good sense to visit an actual professional who is trained to do such things. And he got a lollipop.

My husband got no lollipop. But, as a junior high teacher, I'm sure he'll be treated to all kinds of sweetness for the next week or so.

sigh

Nicest weather of the year,
people sit outside with beer.
No, not me, I'm stuck in here
with booger snout, ague, aching ear.
Why, dear gods of weather clear,
don't you see it brings no cheer?

I lay here with my robe pulled tight,
while outside is all love and light.
I want my body working right.
If not right now, then by tonight.

sigh

ThroatCoat Tea, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways. One, hack-hack, two, snort-snort, Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Intuition

I'm one of those people who is always looking around when I walk. I like being aware of what's going on around me. My husband thinks I'm paranoid. Whatever.

Last night I took two girlfriends out to dinner to celebrate their recent birthdays. Walking home from downtown, bellies full of Pad Thai, my Spidey Sense kicked in. I had noticed a guy behind us. He had the hood of his sweatshirt up, he was kinda hunched over, and had an intense gait. He was doing this weird thing with his shoulder. He was gaining on us and it made me uncomfortable. I wanted to know what was up, so I made up an excuse to pull my friends to the side to get a better look and see if he would pass us.

My friends later admitted they thought I was being weird when I dragged them to the sculpture I used as my reason for changing direction. The guy turned, too. Just as I was getting a good look at him to try to figure out what was up, he started snorting, kinda grunting. A cop car zipped into the parking lot next to us. The guy took off running, the cop jumped out of his car and took chase, calling out to the guy. They were both swallowed up by darkness and we had no idea what followed.

We started walking again. Then there were lots of cop cars, cruising up and down the street we were on and the cross streets. They were looking for him. A few minutes later there were no more cop cars. We assume they found him. No clue what was up.

My friends were freaked out that they hadn't even noticed him. It was so weird. I made sure all my windows were latched before bed.