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When the goob's goldfish died more than a year ago, he wasn't ready to say goodbye to it. So into a little water-filled container it went, and into the freezer. A little fishsicle, deep in a back corner. I almost tossed it a few times, thinking he'd forgotten about it, but just didn't want to take the chance.

Yesterday we heard that Tarzan, the dog of our neighbors and dear friends, died Monday. He had recently been diagnosed with cancer and went much more quickly than they thought he would. He wasn't just their dog. He was their everything for many years. As my neighbor said, "We don't have any other...children or anything. He was it for us."


I heard the news by e-mail yesterday. I asked the goob if he wanted to draw them a card. He said, "No, I'd rather talk to them in person." He asked me some questions, like what would they do with the body. He asked if they had buried him. He asked if Tarzan was too big to fit in a freezer. We talked about cremation and burials.

In the evening, when we saw they were home from work, we got ready to go over to visit. Goobie asked me to get his fish from the freezer. I asked if we could do it later, after we got back. He said he wanted to bring it with him. He said, "I want to show them that it's a normal process." My little scientist. I said, "Honey, they are adults, I think they understand that." He said, "I just want them to know that I understand how they feel." So we put Ish the Fish's tupperware

into a plastic bag and went next door.

It was a touching visit. The neighbors had red-rimmed eyes. Goobie told them he was sorry and showed them his dead fish. They showed us photos of Tarzan from puppyhood until recently, a long and happy 9 years or so.

Everybody smiled and sniffled and hugged. And then I brought Goobie and Ish the Fish back home. Ish went back in the freezer. Goobie went to bed. We chatted about life, nature, life cycles. He fell asleep on my arm. I stayed awake marveling about it all. Life, loss, and the love that weaves through it.