How do these things happen?
The goob and I were walking home from soccer practice. "Hey, look" said I, as we approached our house, "There's Dad!" My hubby was riding his bike up the street, coming home from work.
Then I noticed he'd gone past our driveway. He was riding one-handed. The other hand was held behind him. His middle finger was extended. A guy in his thirties, wearing office-wear (slacks, fancy shoes, dress-shirt and tie) was running after him. Oh, my. Hmmmmm.
I wanted the guy to stop so after hubby whizzed past I called out to the approaching man. I used my best confused concerned citizen voice. "Hey, Dude, what's going on? Did something happen? Did that guy do something to you?" I wanted him to think I could help him.
Dude, gasping: That guy hit my car and took off!
Me (in my most innocent and shocked voice): Really? Holy Moly! That's a trip! What happened?
Dude:I don't know, the guy's crazy!
Me: Seriously? Why would he do that? Did you almost hit him with your car or something? Did you run a stop sign? Did you turn left in front of him and almost kill him or something?
note: I know the only thing that gets my hubby pissed is almost dying because some idiot doesn't know how to drive. The dude stopped running but his arms were still flailing.
Dude: Are you kidding me?
Me: Wow! Are you sure you didn't do something stupid and almost kill him?
Dude: What are you..? No, The guy's on crack or something!
Me: You really didn't do anything? You weren't driving like an idiot or something?
Dude: Hey, are you his wife? You're his wife, aren't you?
Me: I do know that man. And I have my cell phone right here. Do you want me to call the police? I could do that for you. I could call the cops right now!
At this point, the dude turned around and ran away, back down the street, tie flapping over his shoulder.
The goob and I went home. Hubby came in the back door huffing and puffing. I got the full story. I was right. The Smarty Dude was talking on his cell phone in his BMW. He ran the red light, and turned right in front of hubby, who was going straight in the bike lane. Hubby almost got hit, so he yelled to get Smarty's attention. Smarty didn't like this, so he turned quickly into the next driveway to turn around and go after hubby. In true Smarty fashion, the guy not only cut off two other cars to do so, he also went up and over a curb. He still held the phone for most of that.
Hubby kept pedaling. Smarty took chase. At one point, Smarty thought he could outsmart hubby by going up a parallel street and sneaking down a side street. Hubby saw him and rode straight toward him, passing him with a wave. Smarty flipped a U and chased him again. So hubby turned around and passed him in the other direction again, knowing the guy couldn't turn his car as quickly as hubby can turn his bike.
Smarty finally tired of trying to make U-turns, jumped out of his car, and took chase on foot in his fancy shoes. And that's where we came into the story.
I'm glad the guy didn't run hubby down with his car. Freakin' selfish idiot bastard.
Then I noticed he'd gone past our driveway. He was riding one-handed. The other hand was held behind him. His middle finger was extended. A guy in his thirties, wearing office-wear (slacks, fancy shoes, dress-shirt and tie) was running after him. Oh, my. Hmmmmm.
I wanted the guy to stop so after hubby whizzed past I called out to the approaching man. I used my best confused concerned citizen voice. "Hey, Dude, what's going on? Did something happen? Did that guy do something to you?" I wanted him to think I could help him.
Dude, gasping: That guy hit my car and took off!
Me (in my most innocent and shocked voice): Really? Holy Moly! That's a trip! What happened?
Dude:I don't know, the guy's crazy!
Me: Seriously? Why would he do that? Did you almost hit him with your car or something? Did you run a stop sign? Did you turn left in front of him and almost kill him or something?
note: I know the only thing that gets my hubby pissed is almost dying because some idiot doesn't know how to drive. The dude stopped running but his arms were still flailing.
Dude: Are you kidding me?
Me: Wow! Are you sure you didn't do something stupid and almost kill him?
Dude: What are you..? No, The guy's on crack or something!
Me: You really didn't do anything? You weren't driving like an idiot or something?
Dude: Hey, are you his wife? You're his wife, aren't you?
Me: I do know that man. And I have my cell phone right here. Do you want me to call the police? I could do that for you. I could call the cops right now!
At this point, the dude turned around and ran away, back down the street, tie flapping over his shoulder.
The goob and I went home. Hubby came in the back door huffing and puffing. I got the full story. I was right. The Smarty Dude was talking on his cell phone in his BMW. He ran the red light, and turned right in front of hubby, who was going straight in the bike lane. Hubby almost got hit, so he yelled to get Smarty's attention. Smarty didn't like this, so he turned quickly into the next driveway to turn around and go after hubby. In true Smarty fashion, the guy not only cut off two other cars to do so, he also went up and over a curb. He still held the phone for most of that.
Hubby kept pedaling. Smarty took chase. At one point, Smarty thought he could outsmart hubby by going up a parallel street and sneaking down a side street. Hubby saw him and rode straight toward him, passing him with a wave. Smarty flipped a U and chased him again. So hubby turned around and passed him in the other direction again, knowing the guy couldn't turn his car as quickly as hubby can turn his bike.
Smarty finally tired of trying to make U-turns, jumped out of his car, and took chase on foot in his fancy shoes. And that's where we came into the story.
I'm glad the guy didn't run hubby down with his car. Freakin' selfish idiot bastard.
posted by Somebody's Mom at 6:15 AM
5 Comments:
OMG, the Road Runner. You are so totally right.
That is exactly what my hubby keeps telling me will happen if I try to ride my bike the 9 miles to work... and we don't have bike lanes in our town (yet.) He has taken his bike to work before and says drivers are so unaware it's unbelievable, they honk at you, spit out the window, and who knows what else. I got a flashing red light for the back of my car and a headlamp for the front. I WILL ride to work one of these days. Courage.
A flashing red light for the back of my BIKE is what I meant to write, of course!
By the way - your reaction to the dude was so right on! He didn't stand a chance :)
I think I'm gonna get hubby an airhorn for his birthday. You should consider that, too.
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